Welcome to the bottom of the bootle where all sugar gets blur, today with the approval of our dear pop cult hero and spreader of comic book culture Lewis Lovhaug i will start my adventure on the wonderful word of reviewing the comic i read, in particular those Mister Haug already read and reviewed.
Truth must be said and in general i admit i can agree with you say most of the time Lewis but there are those times when you drop the ball. In this TAIS so far i already read it Action Comics, Detective Comics, Man At War, Hawk And Dove, Green Arrow, Batwing, Justice League International and now i start my reading on Animal Man. Your reviews are good and amazingly accured for most of them with exceptions for Hawk and Dove, Green Arrow, Batwing and JLI, you have the right for your own opinion but you let past a few things here and there in those books and the worst case scenario is JLI and i quote : "YOU SHOULD BE BUYING THIS BOOK! IT'S DAMN GOOD!" Really ??? Are you sure you read the same JLI i did ? Because if is that the case lets go and check a few things.
JLI #01 (2011) The book start with Andre Briggs head of United Nation intelligence (played by voice actor Brad Jones thanks to my imagination) trying and succeeding to sale for the U.N. Security Concil the idea of a Super Hero Response Action Team working under the flag of the U.N. representing the greatest nations of Earth, the problems are this :
*everybody in the whole world (according to Briggs) is underfunded and lacking resources and when he talks about every government, law enforcement agency and security forces in the world is hard to believe the United Nations is the only remaining organization able to take money out of their own asses to fund and sponsor their own superhero team;
*his brilliant idea : assemble his own team "UNIQUELY EQUIPPED TO OVER COME THOSE ISSUES", what that means if somebody asks :
- they work pro-bono;
- they bring their own gear or borrow from someone else;
- they pay for their own U.N. bumper stickers;
- no privilegies, if you park in the wrong spot you pay the bill by your self;
- don't tell this to any of them because as we saw coming next :
*The United Nations Security Council will not assume any responsability for their actions if they fail on their missions at any moment, if they win : "OUR HEROES LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!" if they fail : "JUSTICE WHO ??? WE NEVER HEARD ABOUT THEM!" Therefore :
- they are on their own to fight against threats everybody else is ill equipped to handle (like the average friendly neighbor had ilimited resources), so there it is the Official On And Off And On Again And Off Superhero Team who answer to no one except when the U.N. start to ask of course but just if they succeed.
And there comes the Rooster :
Booster Gold: team leader, PR expert, poster boy for several consumer products world wide and the bitch every PR pimp is looking for, the perfect puppet;
Ice, Fire and Vixen : because they are popular, not because there was any planning for this;
Red Rocket, August General In Iron and Godiva : because you go no where in the UN without Russia, China and England poster boys giving you support;
Guy Gardner : because he was the only one available, except of course for Kyle Rayner, John Stewart, Sinestro and any other Green Lantern responsible for the Sector 2814, i guess Andre was being racist or he ask the editor for their preferences;
Other were selected and rejected and some rejected even before selection because they were considered "WRONG???" at the time, go figured.
Greeted by his transvesti assistent Emerson Esposito they start assemble the Avengers, i mean, the JLI in the Hall of Justice an abandoned facility borrowed by the U.N. from local New York government who was previously using the place as a shelter for the homeless and some basement dwellers who was using the internet servers and broad band complex for hacking activities and wikileaks support.
Booster Gold arrives and ask about them, Briggs gives a short explanation and tell him to ignore them and he said "No, we can never ignore them, it's our job to prove them wrong!" you praise him Lewis you really did it and what our team leader and public relation expert did it next ?
"HE IGNORE THE PROTESTS! HE JUST GO TOGETHER WITH BRIGGS INSIDE THE BUILDING AND DID EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE HE SAID HE WOULD DO!" Good job Lewis, you praise and idiot and hypocritic and where did come from the best phrase from this issue so far ? From Guy Gardner, apparently the most sane person in the room who say : "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MINDS ?"
I tell you this Lewis when the person asking this is Guy Gardner something must be very very very wrong and i will never forget that every time you recommend something.
It's past page 16 already, Guy Gardner left the building and Booster Gold Assures us he never sponsored or had been sponsored by adult diapers, it's like see FilmBrain defend it self as nominated leader of anything. Meanwhile Godiva in two lines show to us why she is going to be the T&A main character, probable Booster Gold love interest and useless character with useless powers.
I admit is a Damn book and that's as far i can go, am i the only rational mind who thinks this boat will sank before even reach the proverbial iceberg ? Dan Jurgens is funny but he is not Keith Giffen, this team is trying to emulate the original Stormwatch mixing elements of the original JLI and failing misearbly at least for me, it's a guilty pleasure but deserves a rant, anything about deserving a RECOMMENDATION it's a little bit of a stretch, Lewis you drop the ball one yard behind the end zone and now you must start all over again back from your own end zone.
Continuing, Batman for no other reason than punishing himself try to argue with Gardner but he leaves, Briggs present for the team a jet borrow or more probably stolen from Green Arrow and without nobody noticing Batman does the favor nobody ask for it and drives or heroes into their first mission : rescue a UN research team missing in Peru - South America, thanks to FAA restrictions the plane made a flight from New York to Peru in at least 12 hours because they leave USA airspace at 10pm but arrive in Peru at 10 am flying around the world in the process, thanks the goddammn Batman. That or american writers and readers are national geographically impaired, they don't teach you anything about time zones in the school anymore ?
Anyway still there is a few eastern eggs for you in this issue Lewis, i can open them all alone can i ?
The Basement Dwellers explode the Hall of Justice with explosives stolen from a Blackhawks Storage Facility (did i mention the Blackhawks are the blackops TNG away team for the U.N.), so the place was borrowed from the city, security was non-existent and the building was actually made it with paper-mache because one bomb was enough for a raging inferno, meanwhile the team is attacked on site, Godiva shows how useless she can be and WHAT A HELL IS THAT SENTINEL DOING THERE ???? I knew DC Comics was going all Marvel with the New 52's but that's ridiculous.
Post Bottle Followed Down : Annoying character goes to you Lewis Lovhaug for be so smart and some rare occasions like this so dumb that made a fool of your self and still remains fun. JLI #01 like i said is a guilty pleasure but not one worth to buy it.
Final Score for TAIS 9-8-11 so far is 7 out of 10, i didn't finish reading all 13 books on the list but is enough to say your only major mistake was JLI followed by a few minor threats that compromissed my faith in you a little bit.
Atop the Fourth Wall is probably the main reason why i restarted to read comic books again and has been a lot more fun since crap editors like those from DC Comics can't fooled me again, i wonder how they fooled you ?
End Credits
Post Credits Scene
[Dr Antwiller wanders around an underground base]
Sake: [greeting him] Dr Antwiller.
Dr Antwiller: So, you're the man behind all this? It's quite a labyrinth. I was thinking that you had taken me down here to kill me.
Sake: I've been hearing about the New Mexico situation. Your work has impressed a lot of people who are much smarter than I am.
Dr Antwiller: I had a lot to work with: the Foster theory, a gateway to another dimension... it's unprecedented...
[Sake doesn't respond]
Dr Antwiller: ...isn't it?
Sake: Legend tells us one thing; history, another. But, every now and then, we find something that belongs to both.
[Sake opens a suitcase, which contains a small cube]
Dr Antwiller: What is it?
Sake: Power, Doctor. If we figure out how to tap it, maybe unlimited power.
[Insano is seen in a reflection, smiling]
Insano: [whispers to Spoony] Well, I guess that's worth a look.
Dr Antwiller: Well, I guess that's worth a look.
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