Preserving My Previous History At Blogger / October 2011

Sake Moongoose said :

DESERVE A RANT N°01 Part 1 A.K.A. "LINKARA WHAT A HELL WITH YOU ???"

Welcome to the bottom of the bootle where all sugar gets blur, today with the approval of our dear pop cult hero and spreader of comic book culture Lewis Lovhaug i will start my adventure on the wonderful word of reviewing the comic i read, in particular those Mister Haug already read and reviewed.

Truth must be said and in general i admit i can agree with you say most of the time Lewis but there are those times when you drop the ball. In this TAIS so far i already read it Action Comics, Detective Comics, Man At War, Hawk And Dove, Green Arrow, Batwing, Justice League International and now i start my reading on Animal Man. Your reviews are good and amazingly accured for most of them with exceptions for Hawk and Dove, Green Arrow, Batwing and JLI, you have the right for your own opinion but you let past a few things here and there in those books and the worst case scenario is JLI and i quote : "YOU SHOULD BE BUYING THIS BOOK! IT'S DAMN GOOD!" Really ??? Are you sure you read the same JLI i did ? Because if is that the case lets go and check a few things.

JLI #01 (2011) The book start with Andre Briggs head of United Nation intelligence (played by voice actor Brad Jones thanks to my imagination) trying and succeeding to sale for the U.N. Security Concil the idea of a Super Hero Response Action Team working under the flag of the U.N. representing the greatest nations of Earth, the problems are this :

*everybody in the whole world (according to Briggs) is underfunded and lacking resources and when he talks about every government, law enforcement agency and security forces in the world is hard to believe the United Nations is the only remaining organization able to take money out of their own asses to fund and sponsor their own superhero team;

*his brilliant idea : assemble his own team "UNIQUELY EQUIPPED TO OVER COME THOSE ISSUES", what that means if somebody asks :

- they work pro-bono;
- they bring their own gear or borrow from someone else;
- they pay for their own U.N. bumper stickers;
- no privilegies, if you park in the wrong spot you pay the bill by your self;
- don't tell this to any of them because as we saw coming next :

*The United Nations Security Council will not assume any responsability for their actions if they fail on their missions at any moment, if they win : "OUR HEROES LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!" if they fail : "JUSTICE WHO ??? WE NEVER HEARD ABOUT THEM!" Therefore :

- they are on their own to fight against threats everybody else is ill equipped to handle (like the average friendly neighbor had ilimited resources), so there it is the Official On And Off And On Again And Off Superhero Team who answer to no one except when the U.N. start to ask of course but just if they succeed.

October 1, 2011 11:43 PM

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DESERVE A RANT N°01 Part 2 A.K.A. "LINKARA WHAT A HELL WITH YOU ???"

And there comes the Rooster :

Booster Gold: team leader, PR expert, poster boy for several consumer products world wide and the bitch every PR pimp is looking for, the perfect puppet;

Ice, Fire and Vixen : because they are popular, not because there was any planning for this;

Red Rocket, August General In Iron and Godiva : because you go no where in the UN without Russia, China and England poster boys giving you support;

Guy Gardner : because he was the only one available, except of course for Kyle Rayner, John Stewart, Sinestro and any other Green Lantern responsible for the Sector 2814, i guess Andre was being racist or he ask the editor for their preferences;

Other were selected and rejected and some rejected even before selection because they were considered "WRONG???" at the time, go figured.

Greeted by his transvesti assistent Emerson Esposito they start assemble the Avengers, i mean, the JLI in the Hall of Justice an abandoned facility borrowed by the U.N. from local New York government who was previously using the place as a shelter for the homeless and some basement dwellers who was using the internet servers and broad band complex for hacking activities and wikileaks support.

Booster Gold arrives and ask about them, Briggs gives a short explanation and tell him to ignore them and he said "No, we can never ignore them, it's our job to prove them wrong!" you praise him Lewis you really did it and what our team leader and public relation expert did it next ?

"HE IGNORE THE PROTESTS! HE JUST GO TOGETHER WITH BRIGGS INSIDE THE BUILDING AND DID EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE HE SAID HE WOULD DO!" Good job Lewis, you praise and idiot and hypocrite * and where did come from the best phrase from this issue so far ? From Guy Gardner, apparently the most sane person in the room who say : "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MINDS ?"

I tell you this Lewis when the person asking this is Guy Gardner something must be very very very wrong and i will never forget that every time you recommend something.

It's past page 16 already, Guy Gardner left the building and Booster Gold Assures us he never sponsored or had been sponsored by adult diapers, it's like see FilmBrain defend it self as nominated leader of anything. Meanwhile Godiva in two lines show to us why she is going to be the T&A main character, probable Booster Gold love interest and useless character with useless powers.

I admit is a Damn book and that's as far i can go, am i the only rational mind who thinks this boat will sank before even reach the proverbial iceberg ? Dan Jurgens is funny but he is not Keith Giffen, this team is trying to emulate the original Stormwatch mixing elements of the original JLI and failing misearbly at least for me, it's a guilty pleasure but deserves a rant, anything about deserving a RECOMMENDATION it's a little bit of a stretch, Lewis you drop the ball one yard behind the end zone and now you must start all over again back from your own end zone.

*in retrospective that really makes perfect sense because now i know you are also an hypocrite and an idiot  Lewis, but i guess you made that your profession - January 27, 2012 08:00AM

October 1, 2011 11:44 PM

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DESERVE A RANT N°01 Part 3 A.K.A. "LINKARA WHAT A HELL WITH YOU ???"

Continuing, Batman for no other reason than punishing himself try to argue with Gardner but he leaves, Briggs present for the team a jet borrow or more probably stolen from Green Arrow and without nobody noticing Batman does the favor nobody ask for it and drives or heroes into their first mission : rescue a UN research team missing in Peru - South America, thanks to FAA restrictions the plane made a flight from New York to Peru in at least 12 hours because they leave USA airspace at 10pm but arrive in Peru at 10 am flying around the world in the process, thanks the goddammn Batman. That or american writers and readers are national geographically impaired, they don't teach you anything about time zones in the school anymore ?

Anyway still there is a few eastern eggs for you in this issue Lewis, i can open them all alone can i ?

The Basement Dwellers explode the Hall of Justice with explosives stolen from a Blackhawks Storage Facility (did i mention the Blackhawks are the blackops TNG away team for the U.N.), so the place was borrowed from the city, security was non-existent and the building was actually made it with paper-mache because one bomb was enough for a raging inferno, meanwhile the team is attacked on site, Godiva shows how useless she can be and WHAT A HELL IS THAT SENTINEL DOING THERE ???? I knew DC Comics was going all Marvel with the New 52's but that's ridiculous.

Post Bottle Followed Down : Annoying character goes to you Lewis Lovhaug for be so smart and in some rare occasions like this so dumb that made a fool of your self and still remains fun. JLI #01 like i said is a guilty pleasure but not one worth to buy it.

Final Score for TAIS 9-8-11 so far is 7 out of 10, i didn't finish reading all 13 books on the list but is enough to say your only major mistake was JLI followed by a few minor threats that compromissed my faith in you a little bit.

Atop the Fourth Wall is probably the main reason why i restarted to read comic books again and has been a lot more fun since crap editors like those from DC Comics can't fooled me again, i wonder how they fooled you ?

End Credits

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFELKOw07dw

Post Credits Scene

[Dr Antwiller wanders around an underground base]

Sake: [greeting him] Dr Antwiller.

Dr Antwiller: So, you're the man behind all this? It's quite a labyrinth. I was thinking that you had taken me down here to kill me.

Sake: I've been hearing about the New Mexico situation. Your work has impressed a lot of people who are much smarter than I am.

Dr Antwiller: I had a lot to work with: the Foster theory, a gateway to another dimension... it's unprecedented...

[Sake doesn't respond]

Dr Antwiller: ...isn't it?

Sake: Legend tells us one thing; history, another. But, every now and then, we find something that belongs to both.

[Sake opens a suitcase, which contains a small cube]

Dr Antwiller: What is it?

Sake: Power, Doctor. If we figure out how to tap it, maybe unlimited power.

[Insano is seen in a reflection, smiling]

Insano: [whispers to Spoony] Well, I guess that's worth a look.

Dr Antwiller: Well, I guess that's worth a look.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZst_2xJHAI

October 1, 2011 11:45 PM

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DESERVE A RANT N°01 Suplement A.K.A. "NICE AND STRAIGHT, THINGS YOU PROBABLY MISSED"

Hawk And Dove #01

Liefeld is a minor problem on that book, Sterling Gates is the one who will mess things around on this book.

Why Dove can fly but Hawk don't ? Why everytime Hawk open his mouth i think about Hobo Steve talking ?

And Who had the briliant idea of give for Dove a boyfriend like Deadman ?

Selected by the Gods of War and Peace ? Was not originally two renegade Lords of Chaos and Order ?

I guess Sterling Gates never watch Superman trying to rescue a Boeing 747 on Superman Returns using the same way Dove use on the comic book and fails miserably, that plane should never be able to land safely.

And on Page 11 a lazy aftermath with a cop repeating everything we already knew it from the start.

And if Hawk a.k.a. New Hobo Steve was not enough the Avatar of Peace crash lands over a car and destroy it for no reason on page 14. Why ? She can or she can not fly ? And why her white dove symbol looks more like some kind of spider trying to bone her belly button ?

And if one Hobo Steve was not enough at the last page we meet Brownie Hawk, probably Hobo Steve's cousin.

The action is poor, the story looks like a dramedia, something better suit for a cartoon than a comic book, Sterling Gates is not Geof Johns and this comic will not last long this way.

Post Bottom Followed Up: Annoying Character goes to Hawk the New Hobo Steve who can drag all action of this comic into his existential personal black hole of "WHY,WHY MY BROTHER HAS TO DIE?"

Hawk and Dove so far is not worth reading or expending money, trying to re-sale and avoid it in the near future.

October 2, 2011 8:39 PM

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C.L.A.W.S.: 10-07-2011

Clearly Loudly All We Say is an opinionated review of some comic books initially reviewed by Mr.Lewis Lovhaug - our former landlord and keeper of the multitransdimensional hub existent below the fourth wall which is connected to our basement in a loosely regular on-off-and on again basis - his own reviews knows as That's All I'm Saying or TAIS inspired a small group of basement dwellers known as "The Basement Dwellers Square Monthly 101" or B.D.S.M.101 for short to gather together on our communitorial basement and slideshow the comics in some sort of Mystery Science Fiction Theater 3000 fashion while making and recording our thoughts, comments and reactions about this specific kind of cultural entertainment and post the less offensive content on the web but :

"According to the Khitomer Accords each opinionated reviewer must respect the standards, fashion and personal tastes of each other therefore avoiding unnecessary confrontational, controversial, and other cons i can remember now (it's almost 8am here now) so the BDSM 101 will be restricted to my own blog and any CLAWS will be limited to give a rating about the suggested readings with opinions about them shortly addressing the issue in question as Awesome, Worth Reading, Idiotic and Deserve a Rant while the opinions given by Mr. Lovhaug about the same matters will be only rated as Accurate or Not despite any further detail to be considered in the future about any specific book. Each opinionated reviewer must be considered as a winner by themselves for sharing the common pains and joys of following the current comic book shows both appreciate so much."

Quoting the closing arguments of the ambassador and american version of The Doctor who help forge this agreement:

The Doctor(played by Mr. Chuck Sonnerberg): "One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs, and prove to me I am not mistaken in mine.That it is true that in the future, you two will become fast friends. You will work together." *both fellows looking at the man from the blue box in obvious disbelief at such a non sense*

Ok, everything set let's go to Clearly Loudly All We Say #0 :

Flashpoint #5 Sucks, it's Idiotic and the Review was Accurate as well really generous, DC should thank Lewis for stay professional opinionated, meanwhile the amateurs....(dramatic suspense tune);

Justice League #1, Poor Geof Johns, we don't know why DC keeps doing this kind of embarrassement to their artists and comic books, despite the fact this was probably planned and written six months ago the book is Idiotic and probably should deserve a rant, the Review again was Accurate and Mr.Lovhaug remains an inspiration for us to be professionals but really ranting our amateurishness out loud will be more fun than keep a gentleman's stand. It's everybody Superman now ? Because that punch should really be killed even The Goddamned Batman, if we want to see a brawl we go for the WWE.

Again Thank you for Mr. Lewis Lovhaug for be an inspiration as well an Officer and a Gentleman despite any visible military rank. (that TOS' Captains yellow shirt is honorary right ?)

End Credits

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjF4K1dvTQI

*Oh the Irony of had write that on my own ! January 27, 2012 08:00AM 

October 7, 2011 6:35 AM

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Clearly All We Say or CLAWS #01:

Action Comics #1 /Accurate Reviewed, the book looks Idiotic; 

Detective Comics #1 /Accurate Reviewed, it's Worth Reading but eewww; 

Men at War #1 / Weird Book, Accurate Review and the crew barely understand what was going on there and we are the guy who love this kind of story, can't agree in what to say about that yet; 

Hawk and Dove #1 / Weird Review, Ranting about Liefeld is redundant, Not Flawless TAIS, the book is Idiotic and Deserve the Rant; 

Green Arrow #1 / Accurate Review and Awesome book, the kind of thing the Smallville's Green Arrow could be; 

Batwing #1 / Accurate Review and Awesome book, was a delightful surprise; 

Justice League International #1 / the one to be always remembered as "THAT BOOK.." (dramatic pause) Not Accurate, we respectfully disagree with Mr.Lovhaug and will give the Deserved Rant for this elsewhere despite the fact we already did it here in the past present of our past future (try to see this through J.J.Abrahms kind of logical thinking) in order to avoid a future past war that never happen in this non-mirror current reality; 

Animal Man #1 / Weird Book, Accurate Review, Really Creepy and we stay with that; 

Next Swamp Thing #01, Stormwatch #01, Static Shock #01, OMAC #01, and Batgirl #01, the crew once again thanks Mr. Lovhaug for his kindness and patience and hope we can do it better in the present future of the current past (someone please cut Lost from Hold's diet please). 

END CREDITS Directed, Edited and Reviewed Review by Ricardo Augusto Music by Michael Giacchino http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxalnykkh78

Atop The Fourth Wall is owned by Lewis Lovhaug, 

the multitransdimensional Hub is probably owned by someone else, there is a dead guy there but is nobody we known.

FourthWallSomeness Rocks !!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpxNbPtOMnI&feature=related

October 7, 2011 7:07 AM


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Part 2 :

Angel & Faith #1 The Squad loves Joss Whedon but we don't have time on schedule for more vampire, brings us more Firefly please but since this a retroactive comment i guess we must ask hold for a Square Slideshow, No comment about the accuracy or not of the Taisoreer yet;

All-Star Western #1 On Hold and when the report says on Hold means our shared copy is on Hold's house waiting to be read when we also complaint about that retroactively;

The Flash #1 Kick Ass Again, Awesome Reading but maybe could be some more, the Taisoreer kick ass again;

The Fury of Firestorm: The Nuclear Man #1 Trash, Crash and Burn, Idiotic, Not even blessings can saving this book from a harsh score , Deserves a Rant at some point, the Taisoreer is kind with this things;

Voodoo #1 finally DC does something worth our communitorial readings and that all we gonna say about this, we respectfully disagree with Mr.Lovhaug about this book and will never comment about his comments on this subject ever again, your are a gentleman Sir, don't dimminish your self as being just a feminist;

Superman #1 On Hold yet;

Justice League Dark #1 On Hold but the Square love Zatanna;

The Savage Hawkman #1 On Hold, lazy egoistic share holder Hold;

Avengers Academy #1-6 What A Hell is a Marvel Comic Book doing on that list ? I guess Hold doesn't even buy this, check the schedule;

P.S.: the Squad respectfully says nothing else about the Taisoreer skills and methods also we have the deepest confidence in your skills concerning Pollo and we only wish the best during the make-over.

Thank you for the FourthWallsome Show !!!

Reposted, reedited and rewrited by Ricardo Augusto, sort of brazilian not so extraordinaire;

Atoptefourthwall owned by Lewis Lovhaug, power ranger's opionionated extraordinaire;

October 7, 2011 10:22 AM


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The Long T.A.I.L. comment for 9-8-11. "That's All I Love #0" 

>>>"What I mean is that the continuity was not as impenentrable as people thought it was". 

Some teams are playing this wishy-washy reboot better than others and some really doesn't look to care about. There are books for fine tastes and there are books for the raw mob as well those weird books with slow setting. 

>>>"I'm still against the reboot, but I am not so stupid as to pretend there aren't advantages or good things to come out of it". 

That's something yet to be seen if DC of course don't running away from foretold dropping sales that will come before they pulled the next p.r. gimmick card out of their pockets. 

>>>"Still, I found it enjoyable. I've kind-of moved past worrying about creators"understanding" or not "understanding" characters because, well, it's open to interpretation . 

Nothing can't be rated better than this. "If DC really wanted to make Ice a part of a Norwegian minority they should have chosen" How many times i listen to that kind of phrase at work ? Several, most of bad companies belong to the Realm of Should Have.

 That commented i liked Green Arrow #1 and Batwing #1, just liked, Justice League International #1 made me laugh my ass off as you can see on Deserve a Rant but there are nothing on that TAIS list that i really love despite my eagerness to play my side show. Swamp Thing was weird reading, Stormwatch sucks, i don't care about Static Shock and Batgirl keep give the feeling for Why? For the love of God Why? with a mixed twist. 

Eventually i will read Omac but that's all i have to add to discussion that may be or not worthy it to say.

October 8, 2011 1:50 PM